Twisted Story Time
by J-demon321
Summary: Oh dear...our dear Iruka-sensei is sick and all the other ninjas are out leaving no other but the infamous, Icha Icha Paradise reader, Kakashi to act as substitue teacher. But...today is the very special story-telling day. Oh dear....Oh dear indeed.


Wow....Long time no see! I haven't been on facfiction for a really, really long time. So anyways, this is my first oneshot albeit a little long. I just wanted to say that this story was written purely for my own amusement. I read this folk tale, 'The Silver Ax and the Golden Ax' and I just got inspired. It was really interesting to write and (I hope) fun to read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

* * *

His head felt like a ton of bricks. It was heavy, sluggish and throbbing in the worst possible way. He was also dizzy. Very, _very_ dizzy. It was as if, all of a sudden, his brain had melted into hot, bubbling lava and some annoying prick thought it amusing to stir it clockwise one moment and then counter-clockwise the next. In other words, his head felt like crap.

His body felt ten times worse. Every single joint hurt and moving was torture. His nose was so stuffed up that he couldn't tell the difference between sweet and bitter. Add to it his dry and painful throat and ta da! A cold.

This was a problem. First of all, since he was sick, he couldn't teach today and today was special because today was story-telling day and everyone who graduated from Konoha Academy knows just how special story-telling day is. Second of all, he found out that he was incapable of getting out of bed _this morning_ which meant that he hadn't had time to call for a substitute teacher. Lastly, he was a ninja for god's sake! He shouldn't be getting sick in the first place, more so since he doesn't go on missions. This was highly embarrassing. So….yes. He had a very serious dilemma in his hands at the moment.

On the bright side, he did manage to call Tsunade-sama, manage being the key word here. Course, there's the sixty percent chance that she didn't understand a word he said…Anyways, so basically, with the assumption that she did _indeed _understand, he was supposed to wait for her call. It's already been fifteen minutes.

Groaning, he rolled over onto his stomach, burying his aching head into the softness of his pillows, hoping it'll help ease the pain.

It didn't.

Oh well, at least the pain isn't intensifying. Now if only the phone would stop ringing….oh. Well, guess this means the forty percent worked out after all.

"Mmmm….He…llo?"

"You sound even worse than you did fifteen minutes ago. Are you still alive, Iruka?"

"Ah….Tsunade-sama…I was waitinggggg for your calllll….."

"Let me just get straight to the point. I'll do the talking so save us both the trouble so just listen. First, as your Hokage and doctor, I order you to stay in bed today. I already called the Academy, telling them you were sick so rest assured."

"But…what about the subs-"

"SECOND, regarding the matter of substitutes, I've found one. Actually, there wasn't really much choice, seeing that almost every ninja is away on missions, including the blond brat. Fortunately, today was Hatake's day off so he'll be your sub. I sent Shizuka with your medicine. Rest well. Good bye."

"…………."

"_beep, beep, beep…_"

"…………"

"_beep, beep, beep…_"

"Iruka-san! It's me Shizuka with your medicine! Now on direct orders from the Hokage, you are forbidden to lea…Iruka-san? Iruka-san? Huh, that's funny…where did he go?"

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Today was just not his day, or to be precise, it was originally _supposed _to be his day but a sudden call from the sake lady changed that. Usually, it wouldn't really matter cause he'd either ignore her or run away, but this time, it was special. His oh-so-adorable Iruka-sensei has fallen ill! In order for him to rest in peace, someone has to fill his vacant position so _voila_! Ah…the things he does for love…

And that is why he's finally here, standing in front of the only barrier between him and the brats: the door.

The first thing he noticed as he entered the classrooms was the kids….all thirty-seven of them, sitting down in their desks staring.

Blinking.

Looking.

_Gazing._ Heh, moving on...

There were big windows overlooking the playground to his right, a podium in the middle of the floor, behind it a black board and lastly, a very pissed Iruka above him.

Interesting.

He _is_ a jounin, after all, and though he acts lazy all the time, sensing another ninja is a no-brainer.

Interesting indeed.

And the best part of this whole situation was that he knew that Iruka knew that he knew Iruka was up there, inside the ceiling. Kakashi suddenly felt happier. Perhaps today _will_ turn out for the better after all.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Yes, it was true. Iruka was fully aware that Kakashi knew he was hiding here, silently watching his every move and that's_ exactly_ what he intended. Now as a fellow ninja, he fully respected Tsunade-sama and her decision as hokage of Konoha. However, this! This is one decision he cannot respect or acknowledge whatsoever! How could Tsunade-sama even think of exposing his precious students to this monster! Surely Kakashi couldn't be the only available ninja left. This was outrageous. He'd rather die than let Kakashi teach his class unsupervised. If that idiot even hint at something perverted, so god help him, he'll strangle that disgusting wolf on two legs and leave him hanging.

He loved his students very, _very_ much. And he knew that Kakashi knew this as well.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Yo! My name is Kakashi-sensei and I'll be your substitute teacher for today. Usually, I'd start with introductions but since I don't want to get to know all thirty-seven of you, I'll just briefly introduce myself only. Agreed? Good. Well…in the past I was a super cool genius but now, I'm currently a super cool jounin. This concludes the introductions, any questions?"

"………….."

"………Um…Kakas-"

"Great! Now let us proceed to our next agenda. Uh…What is our next agenda?"

"Um….Sensei!"

"Yes! Girl with the Hello Kitty t-shirt."

"Today is story-telling day."

Blink.

Obviously, with him being a child prodigy and all, he must've missed those certain classes during school.

"And your point?"

Iruka could feel another wave of dizziness coming. It's only been twenty minutes and he's already hit a wall. This was hopeless.

"The point? Uh…the point is…to tell us a story?"

"So…basically all I have to do is tell you any old fairy tale?"

"Sensei you're funny! Of course not! The story must have ninjas!"

"Yea! And, and it's supposed to be educational and stuff!"

"Totally!"

Just look at them, just look! Does Kakashi not see how innocent and precious those young hope of lights are?

"Hmmmm….an educational story about ninjas, huh? Fine. All right, everyone listen up cause the story I'm about to tell you is the most educational story full packed with ninjas and whatnot. It's called 'The Silver Kunai and the Gold Kunai.'

"Ohhhhh….."

All the children sat on the edge of their seats, eyes bright with curiosity and delight. Iruka almost cried at the sight.

"So...once upon a time, there lived a very angst and emo, but very, _very_ hot ninja. To make things more convenient, we'll call this ninja 'Sasuke', k? Good. Anyways, so Sasuke, our...delectable hero, was walking through the woods one fine morning."

"Was he on a mission sensei?"

"No. He betrayed his village in order to gain ultimate power. Any further questions?"

"............."

"Moving on. Now, because Sasuke was a missing-nin, he had no money and in a capitalist country like ours...."

"Sensei! What's a C..Capitali-caplitalis....ca-capitili..."

"Don't kill yourself girly. It means that money is power, period."

"But sensei~~Iruka sensei taught us that power lies within the heart of a ninja."

"Nope. It's gold."

"But-!"

"Listen kid, who's the teacher?"

"You are sensei."

"Who's in charge?"

"You are sensei."

"Why?"

"Cause! Cause...um...you are... a great... ninja?"

"Precisely. And great ninjas, such as myself, are great because we are wise and strong. Therefore, everything I teach you is very important. It'll help you to become a great ninja like me someday. I'm sure everyone here wants to become a great ninja, right?"

"YES!!"

"Then repeat five times: Money is power."

"MONEY IS POWER! MONEY IS POWER! MONEY IS POWER! MONEY IS POWER! MONEY IS POWER!"

Iruka was horrified.

No…he was mortified.

How _dare_ that good-for-nothing wannabe twist the children's innocent conception of the world! They're seven for Pete's sake. Seven! They should be looking at a world full of puppies and ponies; not money and credit!

At this rate, he was going to get bald.

The throb in his head just intensified.

Joy.

"Well done. I am positive all of you will became great, maybe even greater than me...or maybe not. Now, back to the story. As I was saying, Sasuke had no money and so he was poor. In fact, because he was in such a hurry to high tail out of his village, he forgot to bring food, supplies, extra clothes, etc. The only thing he had in his possession was a rusty, old kunai knife."

"Question!"

"Yes?"

"Why the knife?"

"Because, my dear student, Sasuke was a hot, butt-kicking, super ninja. And like a super ninja, he _always_ carried a weapon of some type or form, somewhere on his body, no matter what."

Furrowing his brows, the 'dear student' opened his mouth to ask another question. "Then why does the knife have to be rusty and o-"

"_Because_…if it didn't, the story wouldn't be a story. Boys and girls do you all want to hear the story or not? I, being a great ninja, am a very busy man. From now on, if anyone here asks another pointless question, I will have no choice but to gag them. Ok?"

The children stared at their smiling teacher with big eyes.

"But how do we know if a question is point-"

Kakashi took off his socks.

The poor kid shut up.

The class answered with furious nods.

"Wonderful. Right, where were we, oh yes. Sasuke only had a rusty, old weapon at his disposal. However, being the super ninja that he is, Sasuke trudged on confidently, gripping the knife tightly in his right hand when suddenly; he tripped on a tree root, causing the knife to fall out of his hand and fall into a big pond. Now Sasuke, due to an unpleasant memory he had of the wave country a few years back, did _not_ do water. But because that rusty and old kunai knife was the only thing he had, Sasuke was ready to jump into that pond to get it. As he was getting ready, someone with a sign that read 'pond spirit' hanging from his neck suddenly popped out of the pond. On a closer look, however, Sasuke, to his dismay, found that the so-called 'spirit' was actually a perverted snake-looking old guy in disguise. Again, to make things more convenient, we will call him, 'Orochimaru'."

_'Kck!'_

Iruka chocked on his own spit.

"'Kukuku...well well well...what have we got here?' said the creep in an even creepier voice. Sasuke, feeling goose bumps run all over his skin, determined him as an enemy and decided to eradicate him. However, remembering that his only knife fell into the pond, Sasuke chose to glare instead. It spelled death. 'Ohhh...feisty aren't we? I like that...,' Orochimaru slurred. Sasuke gagged."

Iruka did too.

"Realizing the situation as an emergency, he deemed it necessary to burn the snake freak crispy black with his awesome fire jutsu when suddenly! (Here, he made his voice extra loud just for show. The kids liked that.) Orochimaru opened his right hand to reveal a shiny kunai knife made of silver."

"'Kukukuku...is this silver kunai knife, your kunai knife...handsome?'Although the shiny gleam of the knife was very tempting, Sasuke, being a super ninja, knew he should never take anything from a total stranger; especially if the stranger is a perverted snake-looking old guy. With a glare, Sasuke oh-so-coolly replied, no. Smiling that creepy smile of his, Orochimaru then dipped his hand back into the pond to reveal a sparkly and very pretty kunai made out of gold. 'Kukuku...is this gold kunai knife, your kunai knife...hot shot?' Again, being superior, Sasuke replied with a firm no."

"Then, for the third time, Orochimaru dipped his hand into the pond to reveal a rusty, old kunai knife. 'Well then...is _this_ your kunai knife?' Immediately recognizing it as his, this time he replied with a yes. 'Kukuku...how honorable and true you are. As a reward, I will grant you all three knifes.' And with that, he threw the silver, gold and the rusty weapon towards Sasuke. He picked them up."

"'Now...because I deem you worthy, not to mention hot, I will grant you a bonus prize; me!' And with that, Orochimaru was just about to pin Sasuke to the ground and rav-!"

_Whoosh!_

A kunai knife out of nowhere embedded itself on the floor; exactly a millimeter away from Kakashi's left foot. He could feel cold sweat forming on his forehead as a dark and vicious aura formed above his head.

"........"(Kakashi)

"........"(The children)

"........"(Kakashi)

"........"(The children)

"Wha...What I meant, children, was that just as Orochimaru was about to pin Sasuke to the ground, Sasuke quickly dodged to the side and with a swift kick, sent the perverted snake-looking old guy flying. In the end, Sasuke sold the gold and silver kunai knives he got and became a very rich, very hot missing-nin. The end. You may all clap now."

The room erupted in applauses.

"Now, what is the moral of this story? By the way, you may all speak."

Tiny, flailing arms filled the air.

"The girl in the back."

"Being honest!"

"Oh~nice guess, but sadly, no. Anyone else?"

"Me! Me! Pick me sensei!"

"You, the kid with the weird haircut, yes?"

"One must always drop something into a pond?"

"Hmmm....close, but unfortunately, no."

"Eeeehh? Sensei, it's obvious the moral is 'be honest', you're lying!"

"Yea!"

Iruka quietly agreed with his students.

"Come now, what would I, a great ninja, gain from lying to a bunch of kids like you? Nothing. So, are there any more guesses?"

"Ummm...we should always drop something into a pond with a perverted snake-looking old guy?"

"Nope."

"SENSEI!! TELL US THE ANSWER!!"

"Fine, I'll tell. The moral of the story 'The Silver Kunai and the Gold Kunai' is....."

"IS....."

"Is...Hot, butt-kickin', super ninjas will always be hot, butt-kickin' super ninjas no matter _what_ the circumstances."

A thirty second silence enveloped the whole classroom.

"Ah. So that's it."

"Oh....that makes total sense."

"Of course! How come I didn't think of that?"

"Wow."

"I...I suddenly feel inspired..."

The ceiling was silent.

"Also, 'when faced with a perverted snake-looking old guy, get rid of him as fast as possible' can be another moral of this story."

"Oh~"

"That's amazing Kakashi sensei!"

"Isn't it?"

The ceiling was still silent.

"Tell us another story sensei!"

"Yea! We still have some time before class ends. Please tell us another one!"

"Please!"

"This is the best story-telling day ever!"

Soon the classroom was noisy with the children begging for another story.

Sitting on the podium, Indian style, Kakashi waved his hand up and down to quiet the kids. Iruka did _not_ like that at all. That stupid pompous attitude…

"Settle down, settle down. Well, since all of you want it so much, I guess I could spare a bit more of my very precious time..."

"Yay!"

"Thank you sensei~"

A snort.

Precious my a-…he shouldn't be swearing, really. Blame it on the cold…. Whatever, he just wanted to throw up.

"So after that little incident at the pond, rumors about how Sasuke became rich spread wide and far. A ninja by the name of Kakuzu, who loved money more than anything else in this world, wanted to see if the rumors were true. But before we go on with the rest of the story, I'll give everyone a surprise quiz! Let's recap. The question is this: why does Kakuzu love money more than anything else?"

"BECAUSE MONEY IS POWER!"

"Excellent. I am very proud of each and every one of you. Going back to the story…However, Kakuzu was a _very_ lazy and _very_ selfish ninja. Although he wanted to find the truth, he did not want to go to the pond himself. So, he had no choice but to threaten his partner, Hidan, to go in his place. Now, Hidan….yes?"

"Sensei, how did this…Kakuzu threaten his partner?"

"Obviously, he told him if didn't go he won't be getting any se-"

_Whoosh! _

Again, out of nowhere, another kunai embedded itself on the podium, right in front of Kakashi.

"........"(Kakashi)

"........"(The children)

"........"(Kakashi)

"........"(The children)

"What I meant…was that if Hidan didn't go, Kakuzu wouldn't…ummm…play…ur…night games with him...for a week…Hidan loved to play…"

"Oh! I get it now. Thanks sensei!"

Kakashi was feeling the cold sweat again.

"No problem. Anyways, so begrudgingly, Hidan traveled to the rumored place. But because the woods was located on the other side of where he lived, it was already very late and everything was pitch black by the time Hidan reached the pond. In fact, it was so dark that Hidan, the awesome ninja, bumped into a sign that was near the pond and knocked it down. However, because he was awesome, he regarded the sign as something of little importance. Ignoring the object, Hidan faced the pond. You see kids, while traveling; Hidan was struck by a brilliant idea. Instead of throwing a plain old kunai knife into the pond, he thought it would be better to throw in a brand new, one of a kind, limited edition kunai knife."

"Sensei, I have a question!"

"Yes, the kid with the dorky glasses."

"What's the difference?"

"Well being the awesome ninja that he is, he thought that if he threw in such an expensive knife, the old guy living in the pond will give him better choices than a gold or silver kunai."

"I…guess that makes sense."

"Mmmmhmmmm Hidan thought so too. Grinning and feeling happy, the awesome ninja Hidan confidently threw his brand new, one of a kind, limited edition weapon into the pond and waited. And waited. And waited some more. But alas, the mysterious perverted snake-looking old guy did _not _appear out of the pond even though Hidan patiently waited till the sun was up and shining brightly in the middle of the sky. Hidan was furious. And so, he threw a temper tantrum. As he was stomping his foot out of anger, he stepped on a wooden object. Upon closer inspection, Hidan recognized it as the sign he knocked down a few hours ago. Picking it up, Hidan read the bold black letters painted on the sign and screamed."

"Why?"

"Because, my dear student, the sign read: OUT OF ORDER."

"Out of order?"

"That's right. Remember what happened after Sasuke received all three kunai knifes from Orochimaru?"

"He kicked Orochimaru and sent him fly~ing!"

"Exactly. This means that Orochimaru no longer lives inside the pond. In the end, Hidan came home soaking wet cause he had to look for his brand new, one of a kind, limited edition weapon and caught a cold a few days later. Plus, he didn't get to 'play' with Kakuzu for a whole week. The end. Tragic, I know. Now, what's the moral of this story?"

"Don't be greedy!"

"Again, good guess but no. Think outside of the box."

"I know what it is! It's: Don't try to overly use your head?"

"Well…that was outside the box, but sadly, it wasn't outside enough. Anymore?"

"Sensei~! Please just tell us the answer. Please?"

"Yea! Please?"

The ominous aura was back again, looming over Kakashi's head. A silent threat.

"Hahaha. All right, I'll tell you. The moral of the second part to the story 'The Silver Kunai and the Gold Kunai' is…."

"IS….?"

"Is…never get too addicted to…pleasure."

Iruka started coughing uncontrollably and this time, it had nothing to do with his poor condition.

"What I am about to tell you is extremely important so listen closely children. Although we are ninjas or in your case, aspiring to become one, we must all remember that before we are ninjas, we are human. And as humans, we are susceptible to various forms of temptation such as wanting to eat foods full of fat and sugar all the time even though we _know_ it's bad for you or wanting to sleep in on Mondays. Humans are very vulnerable beings. Now, out of all the temptations out there, the most addicting is probably the temptation of pleasure. Let me ask a question; who here would rather work than play?"

No one raised their hands.

"You see? We are all weak to pleasure and that is why boys and girls, we must strengthen both our body and mind to resist it. If you think about it, had Hidan refused to break under Kakuzu's threat of no play, he wouldn't have traveled such a far distance, wouldn't have waited for over five hours, wouldn't need to dive into a pond and thus would have never caught a cold. So basically, the main cause of Hidan's misery was him failing to resist the temptation of pleasure. Therefore, it is important for a ninja to train oneself to resist because that could be the determining factor for your future mission's success."

The children stared at their teacher with wide eyes of adoration and respect.

"Sen…sensei…'

"Yes yes, I know."

"That…that was so educational!"

"Sensei! You're awesome!"

"Why thank you."

"Please! Take me in as your new disciple sensei! I beg you!"

"You're such a great ninja Kakashi sensei! I wanna grow to be just like you!"

Iruka just gave up. He was in horrible pain and that's all that mattered.

"All right all right, settle down. Now, before I leave, let us go over the many lessons we've learned today. First of all, what is money?"

"MONEY IS POWER!"

"Good. Secondly, what kind of ninja should we all aspire to be?"

"A HOT, BUTT-KICKING, SUPER NINJA!!"

"Thirdly, who should we evade at all costs?"

"A PERVERTED SNAKE-LOOKING OLD GUY!"

"Mmmmhmmm. Finally, what threat should all ninjas never fall for?"

"PLEASURE!!!!'"

Wiping an imaginary tear from his eyes, Kakashi smiled and looked fondly at his students.

"I…have nothing else to teach you my dear young ones. Remember these three lessons and I have no doubt that every one of you will succeed not only in your ninja career, but your love life as well."

Iruka was still in the midst of his silent "emoing".

_Rrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggggg!! _

"Ah…finally the bell. Now, go out and make Kakashi sensei proud."

"YES SENSEI! THANK YOU FOR YOUR LESSONS!"

And in ten seconds, the once lively classroom was empty. Looking up, Kakashi silently smiled, took out the embedded kunai knifes and silently left the classroom.

The ceiling was also silent.

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Tsunade felt very happy as she woke up this morning. As a hokage, everyday was like a scene from World War II, always hectic and chaotic. However, today was different. Today, she was calm and at peace with the world. Why? Well for starters, the crazy brats, the so-called future of the village, were all out doing missions and miscellaneous errands. In addition, today was a Sunday. The day itself just screamed tranquility. But most importantly, she didn't get any news or notices about the village's academy blowing up or traumatized children and angry parents. On the contrary, she was surprised to find out that the infamous copy ninja Kakashi actually got positive reviews. Yes, she knew today would be a good day.

"I'm impressed. Job well done Hatake."

"Thank you Hokagae-sama. You're too kind."

"No, really, well done. There was not one complaint, not one scrap of paper requesting damage fees. I'm amazed."

"I'm flattered. Actually, while teaching these children, I've also learned a lot about myself in the process. I never knew I was so good with words."

"Yes, wonderful. On the other hand…Iruka, are you still not feeling well? You're face is still so pale. Perhaps you should go home…?"

Sitting huddled in the back of the office was a very worn out and gloomy Iruka.

"…..No…hokage-sama. I am….fine." An evil, black aura started to gather and surround Iruka and frankly, it was starting to scare Tsunade.

"Of course…..Well anyways, Hatake! Start your mission briefing."

"Yes mam. As future ninjas-to-be, I thought it necessary for the young children to learn the four key lessons to remember on their way to becoming a great ninja of Konoha."

Iruka suddenly started to break out into a coughing fit.

"Are you sure you're fine Iruka. Would you like some water?"

"…kck…n…no…ack…I'm fine….hokage-sama…hahh…"

"….Proceed Hatake."

"The first lesson was about the true nature of our society and what real power is. I am a firm believer that general knowledge about our society and the world is crucial for young ninjas-to-be. The second and third lessons were closely related to each other. The main focus was about what makes an ideal ninja and what doesn't. In order to prevent future tragedies from happening, I emphasized on which criteria are required for ninjas of Konoha. Last but no le-"

_Thud!_

"……….and exactly what, may I ask, are you doing on the floor of my office Iruka?"

Face red and hands twitching uncontrollably towards his weapons pouch, Iruka spoke in the calmest most controlled voice he could manage.

"I….slipped."

"…………I see." Staring a bit longer at the poor man on the floor, Tsunade quickly forced her attention back to the other man who was patiently standing before her. Why is he so happy?

"As I was saying, hokage-sama, I ended the class by teaching the students about the biggest hardship that could one day block their path in becoming a ninja. I have every confidence that my lessons will help these young ones in the future. This concludes my oral mission report."

For a minute, Tsunade stared back and forth between the chunnin and jounin; the very gloomy, 'I'm-about-to-murder-someone' chunnin and the very happy, 'I-am-very-much-enjoying-this-situation' jounin. She could feel a headache coming on. She needed these two men out, before it ruined her day.

"Ok. Hatake, again, nice job, you're dismissed. Iruka, I order you to stay in bed the whole day and I mean it. It's a Sunday so the academy is closed anyways. Hatake, I don't know why but because I have this nagging suspicion you are behind Iruka's unusual behavior, I order you to take responsibility in taking care of him today. Both of you can go now."

The reaction was immediate and completely opposite. While the happy glow surrounding Kakashi became a hundred times brighter, Iruka turned very, very pale. It was very amusing.

"Wait, Tsunade-sama! I beg you to reconsider! I am FINE. There is absolutely nothing unusual or wrong with me. In fact, I feel SUPER. Never felt better in my whole entire life! I don't nee-ACK! Hatake Kakashi, you let me down NOW or so help me god I'll…KAKASHI!"

Lifting a violently struggling Iruka, Kakashi gave a final bow and with a 'poof', vanished.

Ah yes. Tsunade knew today would be a good day.

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"Are you still angry with me, my dear Iruka-sensei?"

"……………"

Currently, they were inside Iruka's bedroom with Kakashi sitting next to a very silent and very pissed off Iruka, quietly fuming under the covers."

"Come now, you're acting like a child."

Whipping the blanket off his body, Iruka looked furiously at Kakashi.

"Childish? CHILDISH?!? Don't you dare call me 'childish'! How dare you contaminate my poor innocent students with that perverted, dirty, evil mind of yours? I WARNED you, you….you…BASTARD!"

"Ma…don't say it like that. You heard what hokage-sama said right? There was no harm done. Besides, did I teach them anything wrong?"

"That is not the point!"

"Of course, of course. Now, why don't you go to sleep? I'm positive you didn't get any rest yesterday…"

Glaring death, Iruka plopped back down on his bed, too tired to argue anymore. Being the kind soul, he couldn't really stay mad at Kakashi for too long and damn it, that bastard knew that too.

However, just as he was about to fall asleep, he felt Kakashi whisper in his ear.

"You know Iruka…now that I think about it, I do feel bad. So, why don't I tell you a bed time story as a sign of my apology? It's called: 'The little blond and the three hungry males. ' How about it, hmmm?"

When team 7 got back from their mission a day later, they were shocked and stunned to find their beloved teacher in the hospital, covered in bruises of all colors.

* * *

Yes, I know. I realize the story is very wacked XD Like I said, this was mainly for me to relieve stress so the wacked-ness can't be helped.

However, I'd appreciate it if eveyone would leave reviews!!!!! Thanx!


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